Monday, September 18, 2006

Wish I understood astrology!

Wow. 2006 must have been a year of change in my stars. I mean I just feel this sense of "hell ya- I'll try it" - and a lot of "new me" type changes I have tried to make in the past this year have stuck. Like today marks my third week without any carbonated beverages. No biggie, you say? Well for me, a person who has been drinking soda of some sort for the past 25 years and not just drinking a little but drinking A LOT- this is a major, major deal. I also started eating salads a few months ago and have been having one for lunch everyday. This is someone who NEVER ate a salad in her life. Heck I don't know what the deal is. I feel like I just want to be healthier. I want to look and feel better! I am still struggling with food issues. The issue is I eat too much. I love food. It's my drug. In due time, though. In due time. I am gonna drop some of this weight. I think my plan is going to be to lose 10 lbs- 10 times. What do you think? What if I lost 10 lbs and just waited and see what it took to maintain that loss for awhile , and then decided that I needed to drop another ten and so on. And I did that ten times in the next ? years- well I could get to my ultimate healthy weight goal that would make even the rudest doctor proud. I gotta make myself proud first. I should be so proud of what I have done so far but damn't I keep thinking- well you're still fat. I gotta quit that. I know negative self talk can ruin anyone's psyche. I am going to quit the negative self talk. I am going to wake up saying to myself- hello beautiful blonde- (I am) and remind myself how far I have come. Yeah. That's my new project. Besides getting on the treadmill tonight when I get home. Gotta do it. 30 mins a day for now. Well with everything going on in the world- I don't think I am ready to not have a bowl of choc chip ice cream after dinner. I don't know what one has to do with the other- but I am just not ready. I will be before 07- you can bank on that! (I'm a Scorpio by the way). Any other Scorpio's feeling the same as me?

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