Sunday, June 17, 2007


Dear... (Fill in the blank- Diet industry, fashion industry, skinny 20 something party name it!)

I want to tell you something. I know you have put a lot of work into me and it was your ultimate goal to have me hate myself so I would buy your products or make you feel more pretty- but I'm done. I am not going to hate myself anymore! You can turn your nose up at me when I show up at the park to walk. You can yell things at me out the window because you don't think I am good enough looking to be seen. But it won't stop me. It's not working anymore. I don't care if I can't wear the clothes you design. They are kind of freakish anyway. And I know your babydoll shirts make me look 9 months pregnant. I won't buy them anymore. And I don't believe that there is something so wrong with me that I need to take your experimental, non FDA approved (not that the FDA approval means it is safe by any means) diet drugs just because your "research" says that overweight people are going to die an early death. I won't hate myself anymore. I love myself. And whether or not each day I do the right things by my body I am trying. I am on a path and working and well it may not change me. In the end, I may still be fat. But I will love myself. I will.
That used to be my biggest fear- that maybe, just maybe, no matter how many carbs I ingest- no matter how many crunches I do, I might stay like this. The way God made me. Fat.
To quote JM-
"I'm in repair...I'm not together but I'm getting there"


1 comment:

I, Rodius said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

I'm with you on the weight issues. I've been heavy my whole life, wanted to be something else, and hated myself for not sticking to the diets and exercise plans that I thought would transform me.

So here's to both of us learning to love ourselves as we are. But I still kind of wish I'd learn to love a workout plan a little bit, too.