What is it

That keeps me wanting to stay away from them? Because I think they are toxic? Yes. Because everytime I am around them I get irritated, uncomfortable, offended? I know I am part of the problem. I guess I am just not ready to address that part yet. I don't want to make up. I'm not ready to back down. I feel like I don't really want to be friends with them ever again. How wierd is that? It just is what it is. Man, I didn't see this coming. I didn't think I would be in a family like this. But I am. My husband is in the same boat. But he has lost his Mom and his brother (death). His Dad & he are not that close and well the people in his Dad's life are making him uncomfortable. The man in my sister's life has totally ruined our sisterhood. Our friendship. It is what it is. We aren't friends anymore. I said it. Wow. Feels kind of good. No expectations - no fake remorse - nothing. Just let it be. Let go. Let God. I can't worry about what others think of me. I really can't.
What a Saturday.