Well I went to the viewing today. I am such an empath- I feel everyone's pain- and I cry so easily- I said I wasn't going to cry but I did. Jane, whose husband past away, was very stoic and calm. She is such a classy lady- I sometimes wish I could be more like her- but I know I am who I am and I have to love myself as I am.
Going there alone was a very hard thing to do. But then it was over for me. For Jane, this is her forever. My husband (who is a very wise man I might add) said something to me today before I went to the viewing- after getting home from church- that has really stuck with me. I was going on and on about getting a degree, and him getting a degree someday and he said "That may or may not happen, but that doesn't matter- someday we will look back on these days and it won't be that we remember- it will be our time together- our laughs, our love, our life- in the end, all we have are our souls..."
He is so right. Like I have mentioned before I can become single focused. Focused on myself and my problems. My health, my weight, my job, my feelings. Today as I left the funeral home in tears I felt selfish again- that I couldn't be strong enough for Jane to not break down in front of her. Her soul and her husbands soul will meet again someday...All anyone can do is just take each day that you are blessed enough to be given and live it with your whole soul.
Loving my soul,